Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Some Suggestions On Trying To Be A Great Copywriter

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Content creator are sometime afraid of copy writing. The difficulties are mostly manageable. Just take these few suggestions and have your experience be better.

The main mistake most new copy writers make is the they are too fluffy with their words. This is not intended to be poetic reading; you are trying to get across the new facts. You will irritate a lot of potential customers if you insist on a lot of poor humor and puns. Just cut the stuff out.

The main point there is that you must deliver the facts, not awe your reader at your brilliance in literature. You are there to help people come to a sales decision. So write what people want to know who are buying that product.

Write in a way that is similar to having a conversation with a friend. Therefore, avoid technical language and flowery word. You are not writing to pack a lot into your work like classic works. You need to write simply for the person that is wishing to buy the product.

You are in the selling business with copy so you need to build trust and bring the reader to a point of urgency. You must build a good trusted friendship so be real and true. Tell what the product will do.

Fourth, get someone else to build credibility for you. This can be done in the form of testimonials of people who have used the product and like it. The more of these within reason, the better. Several are good. Just be sure that each one does not bring up some objection to the product and that each one lifts the product.

The final hint is to practice. Now this is not a glamorous plan, but it does work. The best copywriters in the world are those who just keep writing all the time. As you write you will become better at expressing yourself and creating demand.

Take a few minutes ad begin applying these hints and soon copy writing will be no big deal.

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About A Book On Blonde Jokes That You Simply Will Not Be Able To Put Down

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

For book lovers, the chance to get material containing exciting funny stories is not to be passed over easily. If you have not yet got your copy of 100% Blonde Jokes, this is the time to take action. This collection of funny stories has been compiled by a person named R. Cristi who has managed to compile some truly entertaining funny stories related to a kind of women that everyone loves: blondes.

Hundred Percent Blonde Jokes contain materials that will have you chuckling and wanting to laugh even more. There are a number of subjects on which the funny stories are based including on New Years Eve, Christmas and even April Fools Day. A lot of the material is meant for normal audiences, but additionally, there are some parts that are pretty adult. So, be careful about letting Little Johnny read everything.

Fortunately, the humor within the pages of 100% Blonde Jokes is clean and is certainly going to elicit many laughs. There are many wonderful examples of fun humor including one that goes something like this: two blonde headed females are sitting out on the beach and talking to each other when one of these asks whether the moon is farther away or Florida.

The humor is clean and is supposed to elicit a laugh. An example of this humor show up in the following funny story: two blondes that were living out in Oklahoma were seated on a bench and were engaged in polite conversation.

One of them turns to the other one and asks, which do you consider is farther away. Florida or the moon? The other one replies and says, Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?

Now, this is just an example of the funny stories contained in Hundred Percent Blonde Jokes. If it is something humorous that you intend to read about blondes, then this is the book for you.

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Where To Get A Good Deal On A Joke Book

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

So what happens when everyone is sitting around the corner exchanging jokes? Have you got some to share or are you the one listening and enjoying everyone else’s additions? How would you feel if you had the right joke book for the best time?

If you would like to be well-armed in any situation, then why not find the best source? Sure, that you can do an Internet search for something you like, or you can use a friend’s favorite. However, having your own material ready at hand lets you be the next stand-up comedian for your group.

I’m sure you have heard a few blonde jokes in your lifetime, especially if you’ve talked to more than ten people. They are a best selling category of jokes, and thankfully, the subjects of those have funny personalities, and don’t mind poking some fun at themselves. People like that make it enjoyable for everyone, and lighten the mood when it comes to difficult situations.

One of the best sources for jokes that fit every age group is one called 100% Blonde Jokes. It features a wonderful variety of clean, funny jokes that can be used in almost any situation. Although you can certainly find some on the web, sometimes it’s easier to have it all in one place.

If you have recommendations from a friend, then they are certainly worth checking out. However, there are a few well-known book stores on the web that can offer amazing deals, including shipping at either a discounted or free rate. Besides that, if you choose to purchase more than one book at any given time, you can combine discounts and get them for a lower rate.

Next time you are on the hunt for a great joke book, check out this recommendation. When you really need something to lighten the mood, you’ll have the right material when you need it. And who knows? You might be the new comedian on call for your friends and family’s gatherings!

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Blonde Joke Book Is Good Clean Fun

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Many people enjoying hearing a good joke. It could be difficult finding ones which are funny and which can be repeated to anyone. This jokes book is a variety of blonde jokes that do not contain explicit words and scenarios.

I’ll admit it. I have no problem with sexual connotations or swear words. But that is not the case with everyone. So it is nice to find some jokes you can use no matter who you are talking to.

Maybe I’m just showing my age but it gets tiring as well to hear jokes where the person obviously thought that putting in a swear word over and over is sufficient to make it funny. It’s not. Without any real attempt at humor, it’s just plain boring.

The jokes in this book are cute, they’re amusing and light-hearted. Yes, it’s poking fun at blondes. But it does so in a light way that doesn’t feel mean-spirited. Just very good, clean jokes that are funny. Yes, they really do still exist. At least here they do.

Generally, I am pretty cynical when I go to read a joke. Given a lot of them, I just figure I’m not going to laugh. In this case, I was pleasantly surprised. I found myself even laughing out loud so much that people nearby had to know what it was that was so funny.

Most blonde jokes feature women. I realized this because some of the ones here have blonde men. I had to read these twice as I assumed they were about females and then they didn’t make sense.

If you are searching for jokes that are sexually oriented or full of adult humor, this is simply not the book for you. But if you’d like good clean jokes that are just plain funny, I can definitely recommend it. It’s nice to find something you can share with everyone.

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Finding The Right Joke Book

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

If you wish to be funnier, if you’re working on telling better jokes, and telling them better, if you like to keep a nice database of good riffs in your head for the following party, you might want to choose joke book or two. Whether you’re a writer, a painter or just a guy who wants to tell some good jokes now and then, it can never hurt to study the classics. You might want to consider studying the following.

The Classic Comedians

The greats, the Rodney Dangerfields, the Don Rickles, have released some really excellent work in the humor literature market. These books are as good a place to begin as any. Even outside the joke books, you have great non-fiction like How to Tell Dirty Jokes and Influence People by the heavyweight Lennie Bruce. Anything written by Steven Wright is an instant classic as well.

Niche Joke Books

The goal here is to discover those diamonds in the rough. Most joke books are three hundred recycled yuks that were barely funny the first time you heard them, but there are several good niche joke books out there. 100% Blond Jokes is like an encyclopedia of jokes you could rephrase and use to have a laugh at the expense of the foolish men and women in your life!

Stand Up DVDs

This can be helpful for studying delivery. The golden rule is that: The joke is is what’s funny, not you. A bad comic can ruin a good joke, but it’s the rare comic who can save a bad one. Check out some of the works of Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby for some excellent delivery. Mitch Hedberg is another one who has mastered delivery and can take full advantage of some pretty corny (but still quite funny) material. It’s all in the delivery, so study up.

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Dumb Blond Jokes

Friday, June 11th, 2010

Here are some dumb blond jokes from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘.

A Smart Blonde Joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?” Finally… a smart blonde joke.

How Do I Get Across That River? A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her. “How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly. The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”

Blonde Shoots Herself A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No, Silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “And then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “And then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

Passed Away Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away.” The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, “Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax.” Sally very calmly states, “No I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here.” The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. “If you need anything just let me know” says the boss. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically. He rushes over an asks, “What’s the matter now? Are you going to be OK?” Sally breaks down in tears. “I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!”

Blonde Guy A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, “says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!

Read more blonde jokes from the best blonde jokes book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Find more now!

Terry Pratchett’s Unseen Academicals

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

UK’s best-selling author Terry Pratchett’s latest novel Unseen Academicals (2009) is a parody on the cultural phenomenon of European football (soccer) and everything that surrounds it. As such, it may be better understood and enjoyed by Europeans than Americans; in particular since football hooliganism, a distinctly UK phenomenon, plays a central role in the story.

But this novel is really about a much wider array of human follies and foibles than just football; most of which are universal, American as much as European. Other themes in the book include goblins and orcs, pies of every conceivable (and inconceivable) variety; as well as fashion supermodels and their excessive adulation by the public.

In characteristic Terry Pratchett fashion, the Discworld is like a funhouse mirror image of our own world; exactly the same, only more so. Instead of human cheerleaders, there are naiads dancing on the sidelines of the football field, and cart-tail vendors take the place of tail-gate markets.

The main character in the book is the goblin-turned-orc Mr. Nutt, who is one of only a dozen or so surviving orcs on Discworld. In a display of philanthropy, two of the world’s most powerful despotic rulers decide to take Nutt on as a project, to help not only him but his entire persecuted race.

It should be said that it’s not the first time these two enlightened leaders have done this. In the past, they have assisted in the social integration of rock trolls, golems, werewolves and vampires. Insistent rumors have it that Lady Margolotta herself is one of the latter.

Mr. Nutt gets sent from Lady Margolotta’s Uberwald to Lord Vetinari’s Ankh-Morpork and assigned the task to accumulate ‘worth’ in human society. In doing so, Nutt gains many loyal friends and admirers in his workplace, the Unseen University. Co-worker Trev Likely goes to any length to defend his orc friend, and the head mistress of the Night Kitchen, Miss Glenda Sugarbean (creator of the crusty onion pie) becomes a staunch admirer, which later leads to a budding romance.

By impressing his superiors at Unseen University with his knowledge and knack for strategic thinking, Mr. Nutt eventually gets placed in charge of coaching the school’s new football team. And then one thing leads to another.

Unseen Academicals is a parody not only on European football (soccer) but also on food (especially pies), clothes and modeling, and the perplexing nature or human beings. So if you don’t wear clothes or eat food, then this book may not amuse you. But if you do, it will most assuredly provide you with barrels of laughs.

Mrs. Hellman resides in North Carolina with her spouse and their three boys. She’s a professional copywriter and does book reviews as a hobby. Visit her web-site named after The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett, where you can order Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett or any of the other 36 novels in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.

The legs question

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.

He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. “Hey, wanna play a game?” he asks her. “No thank you, i just want to take a nap.”

“Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don’t know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don’t know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars.”

“I really don’t want to do this. I just want to take a nap.”

“Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don’t know the answer to your question, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.” The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.

“Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?” the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. “What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?”.

The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.

After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question.”What was the answer to the riddle?” the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

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The legs question

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.

He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. “Hey, wanna play a game?” he asks her. “No thank you, i just want to take a nap.”

“Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that i ask you. If you don’t know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don’t know the answer to your question, then Ill give you five dollars.”

“I really don’t want to do this. I just want to take a nap.”

“Oh but PLEASE pretty please. Okay, how about if I don’t know the answer to your question, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.” The blonde woman became interested and decided to play the game.

“Okay. How many moons does jupiter have?” the young man asked. The woman reached into her purse and took out a five dollar bill. “What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?”.

The young man, determined not to lose, gets out his laptop and searches all over the internet for an answered. Flustered and confused, the young man hand the blonde five hundred dollars.

After a few hours, the young man was itching to know the answer to the question.”What was the answer to the riddle?” the blonde woman reached into her purse and handed the young man a five dollar bill.

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Laugh Out Loud: Then Cry

Friday, December 12th, 2008

Any media which is stored in electronic form is known as digital media. Unlike analogue media (any information which exists in physical form, such as books, paintings and so on), digital media is information which can be stored and displayed or listened to on a computer. This media is stored in binary form (a digital format consisting of ones and zeroes which your computer can interpret) and can then be translated by your computer and presented to you in a form intelligible to human beings - text, images and audio.

Digital media is all around us now. Most of us use computers on a daily basis and of course, any information which you view on a computer is, by definition digital media. The internet is nothing more than a collection of digital media. E cards are one popular type of digital media - an E card may consist of images, text, audio and even video content. Besides video based E cards, there are also those which contain animations; these may be two or three dimensional.

These E cards are made beginning with an image in most cases. However, this can also be an animation or a video clip in the case of video E cards. Images for E cards can be taken from libraries of clip- art, photographs or created using software like Adobe Illustrator. These images are made up of pixels, each of which is represented by a bit of digital information. The more pixels in an image, the more information it represents - meaning a larger and higher resolution image on your computer screen.

On the other hand, 2D or 3D animations are pictures that move. They are made of a set of images combined together using scripting language, so that they appear to be moving. Therefore, these non-static images are larger than static images, although they may appear cartoon-like. The same algorithm can also be used to make the texts to appear moving on the e card. Then, audio files are added for effect.

All together, these images text and audio files (or animations and video, if using) comprise the contents of an E card. E cards are far easier to send to your recipient than a regular card - all you need is their email address. They can’t get lost in the post and you don’t even need a stamp! There are thousands of different E cards out there to choose from; the most popular style are funny E cards. You can send E cards for any occasion - birthdays, holidays and more!

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